I was hanging around Chloe and john and others. Someone called or texted and word quickly spread in the group that this person who was out driving nearby was seeing a huge rainbow against the back side of the storm clouds. And they reported the end of the rainbow was, at that moment, at camp.
john and I scampered outside to look. At the edge of a big clearing we looked 360 degrees and saw no rainbow at all. I was a little disappointed, since I love rainbows and was hoping to see a big fat prism up close. Maybe I telegraphed disappointment or maybe he just likes nature or is a curious enough sort, but for whatever reason, john was suddenly a hunting dog on point. he paused, alert, scanned. he may as well have sniffed the air. And we were off, trotting down the hill, toward the dark bank of clouds, past the big tree that had partially obscured our view across to a second meadow.
As we came out from under the big tree, "Look!" he shifted My focus to the treeline on the far side of the second meadow. he helped Me notice that the quality of light was strange, subtle, but definitely something I haven't seen before.
"It's right here. We are standing at the bottom of a rainbow, Right Now!"
It was... beyond words. It evoked awe. I didn't know I wanted to experience being at the end of the rainbow until it happened, and then when it did, it was unlike anything I would have expected.
We stood there in silence a few minutes, it feels like we must have been holding hands. I remember it being silent and still in the midst of kinky mayhem, just us. And then the strange quality of light wasn't there. About the time time I began to wonder if I had just gotten used to it, he announced it was gone.
That's kind of what it's like for Me with him. The world is a more magical place, I see it through his eyes, and when we are together and it is more wondrous. Things happen. We take a Disneyland ride in a glowing golf cart. We see shooting stars. We stand at the end of rainbows.
And then we go home.
Chloe asked Me in the last six months what would happen if I fell in love with john. I replied that I already have, many times. I fall in love with him each time we are together, and then I have to navigate falling out. It's nearly a dozen times now, and I am getting to know they way even though each time is different. There are times it is very, very hard and I have asked Myself many times if I have reached the point where the pain is not worth it.
But I keep deciding that My life is better, I am better, when it encompasses occasionally standing at the end of the rainbow.