In Xanadu did Kublah Khan a stately pleasure dome decree

Sunday, April 15, 2018

The Basics

I’ve been talking to a new boy for a while, and we have reached the point where it makes sense to give him the clear basics of My service expectations.  Every boy needs to hear the particulars of My expectations, I cannot reasonably expect them to read My mind, so this has developed into a series of little elevator speeches. We are discussing him coming to camp, so it is written with that in mind, but one can certainly extrapolate and I think I’ll be re-using a good part of this rendition in the future:
The bedrock of My dynamic is the Duty Of Transparency. This means you consent to be an open book to Me in every way. you answer My questions completely and truthfully to the best of your ability. you consciously withhold nothing. If you know something that I don’t, and it might possibly influence My decision making, you alert Me. If you are sad, you tell Me. If you feel sick, you tell Me. If you just feel bad and don’t know why, you tell Me.  I want you PRESENT.  As soon as you begin to debate something internally, to feel conflicted, you become less Present with Me. This is an authority based dynamic.   To Me that means:  I decide; you trust Me to decide well; you give Me all the info I need to do My job.  To fly this airplane, I need all the indicator gauges and I need them giving Me accurate information.  

Do you agree to accept the Duty Of Transparency?

Beyond that: 
Male hygeine is very important to Me. Have regular dental cleanings, good oral hygeine, and make sure your breath and body are kept fresh. This can be a challenge at camp. Feet should be attractive, nails should be rounded and smooth. I am chemical sensitive, most fragrance and mass perfume (soaps) makes Me allergic. Everything I use for laundry is a plant based soap with only a faint and always natural fragrance (lavender, verbena). Choose your products accordingly.  I prefer your underarms and crotch at minimum neatly groomed, the shorter the better. If you have never been waxed, I do not require it, however I do like it on a boy. I have a waxing kit, I could plan to bring it and wax you at camp. It hurts a lot, be sure you are a masochist before you agree. I like a clean shaven face, esp. immediately before providing oral service, if you are so lucky. 

Upon greeting, I like My hand kissed in a gentlemanly way with a little courtly bow. The same upon taking leave for the evening. To really capture My fancy, when the context permits (everywhere at camp), add gracefully kneeling and kissing My feet with reverence.  I love a boy kneeling and looking up at Me. I definitely want you at My physical level or below, not above. I have a neck injury and cannot look upward comfortably for any length of time.

Here is how you offer unsolicited assistance and request clarification when unsure:

“Would Miss like Her boy to... do XYZ?”

Here are the levels of assent:

Yes, Miss
This can be pleasurably and entertainingly enhanced with embellishments like "Right away, Miss!" and  "Absolutely, Miss!" And of course a big smile. Never underestimate how powerful this little thing is. Invest it with meaning in how you do it. I like cheerful working dogs.

If it please you, Miss
This conveys that a reservation or concern exists, so that I can choose to inquire and make sure I understand it

Not unless it please you, Miss
This means you seriously do not want to do this, but you will as a matter of pure obedience. It puts Me on notice that you are doing a challenging thing and we are close to the limits of your consent. This phrase alerts My antenna to watch out for some sort of rebound response, need for aftercare, and probably need for some extra praise.

The default safewords are:

I need a breather, I’m feeling overwhelmed, or I need to talk about this

Absolutely not, consent withdrawn immediately

Like yellow, but for hitting an emotional landmine, e.g., I slapped you and you had a flashback to being hit as a kid and it made you feel panicky. The slap itself wasn’t too hard, the problem is the emotions triggered that (duty of transparency!)  I cannot know are happening.

Three of anything, when you cannot speak
Anything, grunts, taps, claps. Three of anything means an urgent yellow, i.e.,  there is a problem that needs My immediate attention to inquire and address. I will hear it as a distress signal.

Things that make Me smile:

- anticipatory service, which I think of as ALIGNMENT.  you are paying attention to Me and what I care about; your energies are fully aligned with My wants, needs, values.  Noticing I need a refill, esp., need more ice at camp. Straightening up clutter so things look nice and ordered. Clearing My plate when finished. Assessing whether I need anything when you have to get up for yourself. Offering the chair or better chair. All the high level chivalrous things that have faded. Alignment encompasses robust paying attention - for example, it looks like rain and the first raindrop is heard on the roof. you connect the dots to the fact we have towels dried outside on the line that will get wet, so (“Miss! The towels!”) you pop up and grab them.  Also, paying attention may mean assessing whether I have ready the things I will need to go to a class, noting the time and location of the class, and alerting Me I will need to leave shortly. The major domo role/ concierge role is something I really enjoy, as it allows Me time off duty. I am generally on duty mentally all the time.

- being at My feet. I don’t want or require you to sit in a mud puddle, I recognize we have middle age body limits, and camp is uncomfortable, but where logical and possible, I always enjoy you at My feet or failing that at My side (e.g., campfire) when I am seated as much as possible. 

- I like to control your access to the loo when we are together. If you need to pee: “Would Miss like Her boy to go to the loo?”  If you need to move bowels: “Would Miss like Her boy to use the facilities?”  Don’t worry, I am not into poo play, it is about sustaining the dynamic, and about transparency, which may carry with it just a little humiliation sometimes.

I expect My boys to apply their real world skills for Me, and if you are a white collar sort, hopefully you will find this fairly organic. This is the CEO-COO teamwork model of D/s.


Sent from My phone