After a moderately miserable few weeks in the office, I left “early” at 5pm Friday cuz I had over 50 hrs on the books. Then I spent two hours grappling with the office garage’s valet which had managed to lose My car key, leaving Me unable to drive away. So a valet drove Me home in Friday rush traffic get the spare key; drove Me back to the office in rush; so I could drive home in rush. It was delightful.
Not.
So I came *this close* to not going to the dungeon event that began at 9pm Friday night but in the end, sucked it up. It had been too long. I need to get out more. I let Princess wear a new pair of shittily made yet cute overall bibs - black - from China and a white tank top, and flipflops. We went commando both top and bottom which felt a little naughty, and two of the blinking camp glow bracelets. It didn’t scream little but it was hardly Dommey. You could maybe read it both ways but the intention was to go to this event with demos and let Princess try some stuff. I also wanted to sniff out a couple people about exploring littles. That got no traction, but I did get to be the first person to enjoy a knife play demo, first time I’ve bottomed to knives. I learned I don’t enjoy “point work” but I like broad edge of the blade and I like temperature play mixed in. I don’t like it to be fast, I prefer slower and more massagey/ sensual. I’d like to try it again with someone I feel real connection to, when there isn’t so much distraction. I got off the table happy and a bit altered, but oddly with a sudden headache. I tried to be social, I hydrated, friends I expected to see weren’t there. The ones I did see were occupied with Things. I ended up sitting alone in the social area on the sofa for quite a while, feeling at loose ends. It did give me a nice vantage point on the elevated platform where the spanking demos were happening and I got to perv a cute boy as he stripped, bent over, then got on the bench, I got to enjoy watching his balls dangle and bottom get smacked. Made me feel like a dirty old lady.
After a while I decided I felt slightly better, made note to better negotiate aftercare for experimental scenes, and betook myself to a chair in the front check-in area, where there were more people-watching and chatting opportunities. Wasn’t there long when a cute younger guy came out as I had, and gave me a hard, slightly confused stare. That triggered a can-I-help-you from me, he apologized for confusing me with someone as he was floaty from just getting spanked, I told him I had enjoyed the view, and invited him to sit next to me, whereupon he basically dropped to the floor and within moments I was petting him. In time I invited him back inside to the more comfortable sofas, and we spent most of the evening together there, him mostly curled up and me mostly petting as we talked.
He turns out to be a sweet and fun masochist whose nipples can take quite a lot, and while there was a good D/s vibe we also discovered professional similarities and compatibilities and had a fairly deep and meaningful conversation. We also both remarked how delightful this connection was, as we both needed it. Just before the Barry Manilow kicked in to kick everyone out at 2am, I had climbed on top of him to give him a double nipple assault, and made him beg a little to be hurt, and I teased him with the fact I was turned on by it. A lovely and most unexpected outcome for the evening. He walked me to the car, sent me a fet invite, and seems to intend to come to camp.
It was wonderful but I know nothing may come of it. I already know real reasons nothing may come of it. But what matters much more is that Princess and I successfully played in a way where nobody but me saw the duality at work. Playing with this nice boy felt organic, it felt like me, not Master vs Princess. And I was a little different: more relaxed, more forthright about what I do and don’t want, more willing to give something like giving an instruction or order easily, more go with the flow because I want to, noticeably less mental overthinking static. It was good. It was a little odd for me but tremendously successful even if nothing else happens with this nice boy. That’s a big victory for My little.
It makes me wonder a little about the shamanic experience. I do feel I experienced Princess less as a separate person last night and more as just a variety of in-the-moment impulses that I heeded. It feels better integrated and assimilated. Different, a little unfamiliar, but good and a promising sign. It’s what I have hoped would happen. Yay, us!
Yes, definitely an encouraging visit to the dungeon. I’ll be showing up there more.
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