Xanadu

Xanadu
In Xanadu did Kublah Khan a stately pleasure dome decree

Monday, February 19, 2018

WinterFire 2018: Friday/Saturday - Setting the Scene


I have learned over the years that if I don’t write about camp quickly, much is lost, and there is really good stuff this time, so here goes.

Friday

I went to a class in the first slot of the day,  IPCookieMonster’s class on getting what you want without asking for it. It turned out to not be as expected, but had some good takeaways at the end, namely: (1) it’s very common for people to want a top to magically read their mind and know how to fill desires without communicating them (2) this is actually edge play (3) the less communication happening in the scene, the more is needed before and after (4) the less time and trust you have previously invested with the partner, the edgier it is (5) you might find a stranger top that somehow magically does it for you once or even more than once (6) but you should understand that you are taking big risks, and it’s likely to go very wrong at some point and when it goes bad, it’s likely to be very bad, and above all (7) the kind of person that will do the Stranger Mind Read Top thing is someone who doesn’t care a lot about consent and is probably dangerous.    

The presenter described two successful and very hot scenes she has had in past with a strangerish mind-reader top and noted that while she didn’t get hurt, others did, and neither is now welcome in the community.

Afterward, up in the room had the pleasure of lacing a girl into a corset, and the next night, got to do it again with someone I like very much, the beautiful young woman who was My slave during Butchmann’s several years ago. We still see each other at most events, and it’s become a very warm thing. She’s not in service to Me, but we both remember how meaningful that experience was for us in different ways, and recall it fondly, so there’s a comfort level.  She pimped Me out to a friend who needed lacing and I was happy to oblige.  Unkey didn’t seem to mind, and I appreciated that he enjoyed watching in a way that was respectful and friendly fun.

It was difficult to connect with john Thursday night through most of Friday and didn’t happen until well into the evening, but he made it happen, coming to My room and kneeling. he was buzzed and in big happy mode after a lot of hard work. The boy threw himself on the floor next to My bed on his knees and sang out, “Hi, Love!” at which point all the delay and missed connections were forgotten. Later he gave Me some unexpected presents from where he lives, one of which he took care to point out Princess might enjoy. He also at several points looked Me up and down with a smile and commented that Princess had been the one to choose My outfit that day.  I alternated between hot pink Capri pants with a black bondage belt and a swoopy, tarty black stretchy top… the short black kilt with hot pink knife pleats that boy m gifted Me last year, plus the fun black top, and silk long johns beneath for warmth with big rugged black boots sporting hot pink laces… or a short tartan little kilt over yoga pants, with a smartwool black stretch jacket.  The changeable weather meant most people were always either too hot or too cold, but I was having fun.  I like that he is amused by the Princess energy, and knowing he isn’t into Littles at all, have been careful to inquire periodically if I’m doing anything that makes him uncomfortable, but he continues to say that he enjoys watching Me be happy and I can relax about it, unless he tells Me otherwise.  But it’s possible I didn’t wear the onesie around him for fear it would be over that line, and I don’t want to cross it. Not with him and not now and not without specific prior negotiation.

After john left,  I spent much of the time in the bar hanging out, crossing paths with them repeatedly along the way. I picked up a guy Stuart, who was hard to get a bead on but we seemed to have nice attraction and he kept coming back into conversation and contact.  I had a fun new haircut and was feeling flirty and happy, and was pleased by the whole thing.  I had a cocktail and was feeling adventurous, intrigued enough to give it some rope.  I cannot recall the last time I picked up a guy in a bar, it’s not My usual thing and I do not consider Myself a bar person.  He clearly wasn’t a slave or sub, but seemed like he could be service oriented enough to have some fun with, so when he stepped to holding My hand firmly and telling Me he intended to kiss Me now, I told him to get on with it, and we played tennis like that for a bit. In the end we went down to Sex O Rama and got naked on a big round pouf.  At some point after the endorphins hit, I had to pee – like you do – so I popped out to the loo, but was altered enough to not realize I had left the curtained zone. I sprinted in a state of full nudity out into the common area where everyone is required to be dressed. Almost made it, too, before being stopped cold by the elevator bank. I paused in My happy-empowered nudity to ask how the nudity police would like to handle the situation, and was granted leave to do My business with promise not to repeat the error.  As I flew to and fro, My mind noticed how cool it is that I am these days completely unconcerned with being the only naked person in a very large open  space of clothed strangers.  

Back to SOR, we played, I squirted on his badly positioned puffer jacket, but he told Me he found the idea very sexy. He later told Me his nose itched and when he touched it he could smell Me and he loved that. So we were in a good place for Me. Back to the bar for a drink, back to SOR, he wanted a blow job, I made clear that’s edgy for Me but I liked his cock and was willing to play some on My own terms; he tried to control My head, I articulated boundaries which took him a moment to catch up to, but he eventually grasped. Then he pulled back and asked how the Dom-Dom thing could work, I gave him a sound answer, which he seemed to agree with. It was late, so he left saying he couldn’t wait to fuck me tomorrow, which I was perfectly amenable to, though I did at the same time note the temporal proximity of all these factors to each other and the possibility that he had pulled the rip cord on Me.  He texted at 2 am with a room number NOT at an event hotel, saying I should come now, which  made Me think he had continued drinking; I nicely and cheerfully refused the offer/command, as it was obviously unsafe and duh, I’m not a sex dispenser for bar rando’s.  Aaaaaaand…. never heard from him again, though our eyes did meet in the bar the next day.  Score one for Me. Picked up a stranger, played, kept boundaries, didn’t waste a moment of time when he turned out to be a douchebag.  Confirmed douchebag suspicions with Unkey roommate who declared him a player  and characterized him as one of the peripheral men who give events and the scene a bad name posing as doms.  No trauma occurred even though there was plenty of room for it. Proud of Myself and had some fun. Forward.

Incidentally… bad poser dom spotting flags:  he didn’t inquire what I’m into; he didn’t offer what he is into; I got no specifics about him when I inquired about his interests; but when he made a move knowing I’m a Dominant, he still played it in an overly Dom way with those “I know what you want” mind reading undertones; his fet profile is under a year old although he said he had been in the scene years, and says little other than that he is a sensualist, though he had given no specifics about which sensual techniques (rope, knives, fire) he feels are his core interests; he has only a half dozen friends on fet -- all women no men, signaling an aversion to competition and community accountability; and he moves across geographies, always coming and going; didn’t name a single other event or group with which he is affiliated.  In short: who was that masked man?  Cuz I’m not even convinced his name was Stuart.  Still, I felt it was a fair start to the weekend. Yer gonna kiss a few frogs occasionally, and this frog really could kiss.

In retrospect, what stands out to Me most is that he kept giving Me compliments, I kept taking them, and I think that’s not the way he intended it to work.  He would tell Me I was great in some way, and I would reply either yes, you’re right, or “what’s not to like?”.  He gave a lot of compliments, far above the norm really, and in retrospect, I think he was trying to play on some insecurities and failing. He didn’t get a full on erection from being licked, and I think it must have been mental. I wasn’t giving him enough power over Me, and since the power he wanted wasn’t the responsible kind, I’m very proud of his semi-soft cock.

After the poser took his leave Friday night, I did laps around the dungeons and SexOrama, joined in a few scenes, and late in the evening happened upon a handsome shirtless man being hit by two people in fleece dinosaur onesies.  The man was muscular and attractive and the dinosaurs were adorable. The one hitting him really couldn’t punch, and for some reason they decided I could help, so the instigator dinosaur approached and asked if I would like to hit him.  I thanked them for the offer, confirmed his consent, told the punching dino to stand back, told him to move a little to the left, shifted My feet so I could hit well without straining My back injury, and the punching dino, “Said, wow, you’re really taking this seriously, I think I’m a little scared now.”  And she looked it.  I replied that being scared of Me is probably not a bad thing.  So the boy got his punch and it was good, and he liked it. Then Instigatosaur asked if I could punch her too in the same place, which led to Me holding her head as I hit her, which led to punching her thigh, which led to an invitation to play. The Punchosaur didn’t like to receive hand impact, so the boy fetched a flogger and I flogged the gender fluid Punchosaur while the guy and Instigatosaur grappled.  Along the way, there was a three way Punchosaur, Instigatosaur, Me kiss… My first triangle kiss with extinct reptiles, so cherry popped there in the SOR.  At some point late into the flogging, I felt My switch flip. I was done for the night. So wrapped it up, gave cuddles, parted with thanks and a few smooches and head pats.  Never got their names. Back to the room, took herbs and vitamins to fight off con crud and all the flu going around, climbed into bed, laid one hand on Unkey to let him know I was back, and off to sleep.

Saturday

Woke late, lingered in the room sipping coffee we made there and talking about the poser with Unkey (we are minus the dynamic but I was sure we would make good roomies) who gave Me some really great guidance on how I can manage and protect Princess in this situation. John surfaced, so we went to lunch and I learned he was mine for the afternoon. Lunch became piss play, a full body hitachi massage, and culminating in what was for Me delightful woo sex, where I held him on the edge of spilling as he had a series of non-ejaculatory orgasms and I talked sexy ideas into his ear in a way that felt easy and organic.  When it was over, he asked if that had been 43 orgasms or just one long one. Such a monkey, he is.  It was delightful. We separated for dinner, and I puttered in the room, ultimately making food from the room stash, and watching part of a Doc Martin episode for a break and perhaps also to keep some space between Me and the bar guy until the dungeon opened.  The understanding had been that after dinner, Chloe and I would likely beat j up, or I would handle an outsourced punishment beating, but dinner seemed to run long and I was starting wonder, when he came in with a dark energy, and said he was there, but couldn’t play tonight because something had happened.

Now you could look at this and be unhappy that the unfortunate accidental death of a family puppy  500 miles away was interfering in the camp fun.  But it hit Me very differently. I was touched.  Chloe had chosen to not disappoint her play date, so j had something over an hour before she would be back and then he expected to comfort her about the pet, and that called for them to have couples private time.  Until then, however, I got a rare opportunity to be physically present with My boy during a Real Life Thing.  I never get to do this. I, in fact, find it quite frustrating to be far away and *not* be able to Be There for My boy when life happens.  So we had a deeply beautiful hour together, in which I just held him, as he laid his head on My breast and listened to My heart, and we breathed in synchrony, and we talked about loss and family.  I got to be there for him at camp, in a non-camp way, and that made Me very happy.

Afterward, I took Myself back into the event, chatting, watching scenes. I helped with a FFm scene that wanted a heavier hitter. They invited Me in to use a “knife” on him, which was really the edge of a rubber spatula.  I added the occasional single fingernail and wet the edge of the spatula with My spit to enhance the illusion, and it was effective, so made some new dungeon friends.  Also helped tease a boy sealed into a vacu-bed, and learned it makes the sensations more intense, rather than less, which I find crazy counter intuitive and he had to coach Me more than once about it. I later thanked him for the opportunity to play and also to learn, appreciating the feedback.  More little love moments.

I hung out in the lobby very late, and about 2am was sitting with an older, local couple I know. The wife is a frail and unsteady now but the story goes that she was into girls before they married, and he is a bisexual crossdresser who likes Me, and often includes Me in invitations to cultural events.  The wife very compersion-ally told Me he needed a good beating and asked Me to do the deed. So we made her comfy and popped down to the dungeon for half an hour of more intense play than he has had in some time.  I had only three toys on Me:  a leather paddle, a rubber paddle, a leather dragon tail.  The goal was to provide marks and I really thought there should be some, but leather butt had nothing to show for it 12 hours later. Sad face.  He is one of those who laughs to pain process, which is always a chuckling good time. Me dressed in something inflected with sadistic Little and him being an older person in full-on crossdress screaming with laughter, we attracted a little attention in the dungeon with the fast and heavy play.  That was a lovely relationship builder and I think I’ll likely be seeing more of them in future.  I really enjoy the chance to play with people who have been in the scene since the Seventies, there’s a lot of wisdom there, a lot to learn about self acceptance, and a lot of perspective to be gained about how far we have come as a community. Sitting around, I cuddled the wife a bit, she is a whisper of a thing so she was on My lap at one point, and at another I tried to lift her as requested from the swiveling chair, only to be surprised in a way that caused Me to… drop her gently onto the floor, about which I felt badly, and it was suddenly a bit scary to get her up again. They forgave Me thankfully, and pointed out they’d been drinking a good bit.  Along the way, I learned some interesting and touching things about some of their peers who are also My friends.  Apparently, I need to have one of My occasional subbies come give My strapon some blow jobs to help him accept his attraction to men.

Just call Me a kink evangelist.

(See Sunday's Post for the Payoff)

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